damn sleepless nights......

my youngest meets his teachers in just a few hours, but here i am after a night spent trying to go to sleep and getting no where........ so i decided to chat about my day....  much planning has to go into caring for a family of 6, laundry, dishes, food, bills.......... it's a neverending stream of lightbulbs going off in the middle of the night, my nerves have the best of me this time though........ i'm looking forward to having a few childless hours each week, but at the same time, my baby isn't a baby anymore......... he's my little man child.......... it all just fits in with all the changes being made to try to get a better grasp on what i'm doing here......... i realize so often that i've been trudging through each day trying to make sure everyone is surviving, but really where's the happiness been........... illnesses, set backs, disasters can be a blow to everything, but is it better to be defeated and lay bleeding or reach out for the hands available and battle onward......... i feel like this is a theme with me so much....... on the verge of big changes, anxiously approaching them, growing confidence with each success and not letting the quicksand grab hold......... so i count this as another day, another blog, because i haven't been to sleep and don't see that happening until i get through of the errands that must be accomplished........... i'm proud of the journey i'm on and look forward to the future and all the prospects on the horizon!