Augustness **truth**
Coming soon to this blog....... this funny story may not be quite as funny in the morning.........
Posts
damn sleepless nights......
my youngest meets his teachers in just a few hours, but here i am after a night spent trying to go to sleep and getting no where........ so i decided to chat about my day.... much planning has to go into caring for a family of 6, laundry, dishes, food, bills.......... it's a neverending stream of lightbulbs going off in the middle of the night, my nerves have the best of me this time though........ i'm looking forward to having a few childless hours each week, but at the same time, my baby isn't a baby anymore......... he's my little man child.......... it all just fits in with all the changes being made to try to get a better grasp on what i'm doing here......... i realize so often that i've been trudging through each day trying to make sure everyone is surviving, but really where's the happiness been........... illnesses, set backs, disasters can be a blow to everything, but is it better to be defeated and lay bleeding or reach out for the hands available...
i can't skip a day, not yet......
oh the loveliness of back to school shopping........ good thing i've started pulling in some income! my husband told me today that there's a look to me that's more than the tan i've gotten.......... he's noticed my face looks thinner and i honestly believe i've lost a chin.......... but, i did almost lose my shit today with the kids while school shopping............ ready to add some more products to my regimen......... confianza coming soon and i will see for myself how well it works for me........ ha ha, see what i did there...... it works........... i'm trying, some days harder than others not to fall into the old bad habit of flying off the handle because, seriously 3 kids (4 most weeks) are a lot of work and sometimes they just really don't get it....... but other days, well they surprise me and work well with me and one another........ no one is perfect, but i'm not sure my inner voice always remembers that......... but tonight i'll close...
conversations with myself.........
taking care of my own mental health is still a challenge, i have to actually remind myself to be nice to my self.......... for those who know me, they may not realize what an enemy i have.......... i like to laugh and help others, i tell them not to be so hard on themselves......... why is this such a hard thing to accomplish? how in the hell did i manage to get so down on myself in the first place? i know i have strengths, why is it hard to see them? is it because i'm afraid if i build myself up, someone will tell me that i'm conceited???? i have a habit of covering mirrors in my home, banning scales....... but why? let's start there...... i can answer those questions........ i refuse to own a scale because i myself was anorexic and bulimic in high school......... always saw rolls of fat hanging here and there....... i look back on pictures and realize, my body looked good......... but i never could see it......... i've become so used to looking in the mir...
stop what you're doing......... this is seriously worth a listen
i absolutely adore this song......... i hope you do too....... i promise, i won't only post songs........
making listsl of things to make lists about........
This is where I find myself, making lists of things to make lists about........but I wanted to make sure I took the time to write for a minute......... this growing strength inside me is overwhelming.............. i look very forward to the day that i look down at the hole i dug myself in, hear the echo of the tears that fell inside........... i want to stand in the sun and feel the breeze upon my wings.......... knowing that i can fly just as high as need to and will still find my feet beneath me no matter how far my feet shall sink............ i truly do believe that when we start to love ourselves, we attract that energy........... if everything we do wrong comes back to us times three, then shouldn't it work in reverse as well???? i need to up the water intake and remove the caffeine...... ugh, i'm not looking forward to that, but will be kickstarting that with a little <shameless product placement> cleanse and prepping for the next phase of planning in my 90 day c...
That important first post!
Welcome to my blog, I plan to keep track of the evolution of mei! I joined It Works on June 25, 2017! In just the short amount of time that I have been working to update my life, for myself and my family, I am feeling more confident and healthy (mentally and physically) than I have in years! I hope you will stay with me as I attempt to journal my way to the new mei that's coming! I refuse to own a scale but will share these numbers as they come! I am down to 183 as of July 23, 2017! At my heaviest I was at 230. I hope to watch the numbers fall, but care more about seeing the clothes start to sag and feeling healthier overall! I am currently setting up an event for mid-August, at the new moon, in which I will attempt (once again) to quit smoking! I will be using It's Vital minerals in conjunction with natural elements (sage smudging, moon phases, essential oils, crystals) to hopefully find myself successful this time! I will al...